Rule #1 STAND TALL
The Norwegian zoologist and comparative psychologist ,Thorlief Schjelderup-Ebbe observed (back in 1921) that even common barnyard chickens establish a “pecking order.”Being at the top or the Alpha makes life easier as you have more access to food and resources less chances of dying from infectious diseases.If a lobster is defeated,it grows a new, subordinate’s brain—one more appropriate to its new, lowly position.Anyone who has experienced a painful transformation after a serious defeat in romance or career may feel some sense of kinship with the Lobster.Serotonin helps regulates postural flexion .Prozac,an SSRI which is selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors increase serotonin which is a drug used in depression.Our lobster ancestors also cheer up when given prozac! Pareto or the mathhew principle states that only a small minority of people control resources or 80%of the work is executed by only 20%of the people. It’s the 80/20 rule 80% of the outputs comes from 20% of the inputs.For example for students which part of the syllabus or course material covers 80%of your exams. Which one thing you can focus on which will give you the most value.The top 1 percent have as much loot as the bottom 50 percent—and where the richest eighty-five people have as much as the bottom. Three and a half majority of scientific papers are by a small minority of scientists even in creative domain , four classical composers (Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and Tchaikovsky) wrote almost all the music played by modern orchestras.
His aggression has made him successful, so he’s likely to react in a dominant, irritable(If properly charmed, however, he will change his behaviour towards the female. This is the lobster equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, the fastest-selling paperback of all time, and the eternal Beauty-and-the-Beast plot of archetypal romance. This is the pattern of behaviour continually represented in the sexually explicit literary fantasies that are as popular among women as provocative images of naked women are among men.)Nature and biology is mostly conservative.It is for this reason that the wings of bats, the hands of human beings, and the fins of whales look astonishingly alike in their skeletal form.Nature or environment itself is not static it transforms The implicit idea behind Natural selection ?if whatever you have is sufficient for the environment’s demands.We are in a dance with nature where nature and it’s demands are themselves changing with time.Dominance hierarchy, has been around for some half a billion years. Dominance hierarchies are older than trees.It is a master control system, modulating our perceptions, values, emotions, thoughts and actions.This is why, when we are defeated, we act very much like lobsters who have lost a fight. Our posture droops. We face the ground. We feel threatened, hurt,low serotonin,decreased confidence.We have a primordial calculator in the brain which detects our status.Emergencies are common at the bottom, and you must be ready to survive.Even the smallest impediment at the bottom can spiral out of control.If you are on the top change can be an opportunity. .Routines are acts that are automized habits which allow you to gain stability and predictability.Anxiety and depression cannot be easily treated if the sufferer has unpredictable daily routines.fat and protein-heavy breakfast as soon as possible after they awaken (no simple carbohydrates, no sugars, as they are digested too rapidly, and produce a blood-sugar spike and rapid dip). This is because anxious and depressed people are already stressed, and they hypersecrete insulin which removes all glucose and will make them hypoglycemic.Depressed people, for example, can start feeling useless and burdensome, as well as grief-stricken and pained. This makes them withdraw from all social contact. They become anxious and easily upset. They shield themselves with a defensive crouch, and avoid eye contact.The slouch posture and lack of eye contact signifies their habitual assumption of subordination which renders the person more stressed and uncertain than necessary, and their habitually submissive posturing continues to attract genuine negative criticism and bullying because they can’t fight back. This can happen to people who are weaker, physically, than their opponents. They won’t fight back.This happens not infrequently to people who are by temperament compassionate and self-sacrificing who thinks that all forms of aggression, including even feelings of anger, are morally wrong. I have seen peoplethose who are only or merely compassionate and self-sacrificing (and naïve and exploitable) cannot call forth the genuinely righteous and appropriately self-protective anger necessary to defend themselves. If you can bite, you generally don’t have to. When skillfully integrated, the ability to say no, early in the cycle of oppression, and you mean what you say (which means you state your refusal in no uncertain terms and stand behind it) then the scope for oppression on the part of oppressor will remain properly bounded and limited..No boundaries means more chances for you to be exploited.Naive, harmless people usuallyguide their perceptions and actions with a few simple axioms: people are basically good; no one really wants to hurt anyone else; the threat (and, certainly, the use) of force, physical or otherwise, is wrong. These axioms collapse, or worse, in the presence of individuals who are genuinely malevolent.
.Our anger and resentment is the very force which prevents acts of tyranny.We Need to embrace it and see it for what it is.The willingness of the individual to stand up for him or herself protects everyone from the corruption of society.When once-naïve people recognize in themselves the seeds of evil andmonstrosity, and see themselves as dangerous (at least potentially) their fear decreases. They develop more self-respect. If you are asked to move the muscles one by one into a position that makes you look happy, you will report feeling happier. Emotion is partly bodily expression, and can be amplified (or dampened) by that expression.You step forward to take your place in the dominance hierarchy, and occupy your territory, manifesting your willingness to defend, expand and transform it.It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended.
Rule #2 TREAT YOURSELF LIKE SOMEONE YOU TRULY CARE💖
People are better at filling and properly administering prescription medication to their pets than to themselves.We have order and chaos and our consciousness is the thing that mediates between them.If you properly understand consciousness you can get a way out.Chaos is unexplored territory.Chaos is the despair and horror you feel when you have been profoundly betrayed. It’s the place you end up when things fall apart; when your dreams die, your career collapses, or your marriage ends.Chaos is freedom too.Order is tribe, religion, hearth, home and country. It’s the warm, secure living-room where the fireplace glows and the children play. It’s the flag of the nation.Order is the place where the behavior of the world matches our expectations and our desires; the place where all things turn out the way we want them to. But order alone can be too one-sided,too much order can make our lives boring and uniform.There’s no growth in too much order and certainty.We need a proper balance of adventure and structure/discipline to live our lives fully.
In the story of Adam and Eve,Eve when enticed by the snake becomes self conscious perhaps it is for this reason that Eve’s daughters are more protective, self-conscious, fearful and nervous, to this day (even,Women have been making men self-conscious since the beginning of time. They do this primarily by rejecting them—but they also do it by shaming them, if men do not take responsibility.”Naked means vulnerable and easily damaged. Naked means subject to judgment for beauty and health. So should we abandon all ideals of beauty, health, brilliance and strength? That’s not a good solution. That would merely ensure that we would feel ashamed all the time other people should vanish “”I’m proud to feel unworthy in the presence of people like that. It’s the price we all pay for aim, achievement and ambition”people, unsettled by their vulnerability, eternally fear to tell the truth, to mediate between chaos and order, and to manifest their destiny” women pay a high price for pregnancy and child-rearing, particularly in the early stages, and that one of theinevitable consequences is increased dependence upon the sometimes unreliable and always problematic good graces of men”you know so much more about yourself. You’re bad enough, as other people know you. But only you know the full range of your secret transgressions, insufficiencies and inadequacies.No one has more reason to hold you in contempt, to see you as pathetic” But we know exactly how and where we can be hurt, and why. That is as good a definition as any of self-consciousness.We know how we are naked, and how that nakedness can be exploited—and that means we know how others are naked, and how they can be exploited”“It is not virtuous to be victimized by a bully, even if that bully is oneself”Being is inexorably tied up with that of others, and your mistreatment of yourself can have catastrophic consequences for others.Look at the families of suicide victims whatever you do is not just going to affect you but will also affect the people who are connected to you. The whole household is disturbed if only one family member is in a crisis of any sort.look at suicide spark or divine in youIf anyone is fortunate enough to be in a rare period of grace and health, personally, then he or she typically has at least one close family member in crisis. Yet people prevail and continue to do difficult and effortful tasks to hold themselves and their families and society together.”“Happy” is by no means synonymous with “good.” You must get children to brush their teeth. They must put on their snowsuits when they go outside in the cold, even though they might object strenuously. You must help a child become a virtuous, responsible, awake being, capable of full reciprocity”You have to articulate your own principles, so that you can defend yourself against others’ taking inappropriate advantage of you, and so that you are secure and safe while you work and play. The path to discipline is by no means ”happiness”what makes you think that the purpose of life is happiness and a good life is all about living in happiness?what makes you think that we want happiness from our lives?which is akin to reveling in luxury and getting everything that you want?what makes you think that happiness is all that is to life?what if ”meaning” is ultimately what life is for?
RULE #3 BEFRIEND PEOPLE WHO WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU👩🏻🤝👩🏻👩🏼🤝👩🏼👫
“Or maybe you’re saving someone because you want to convince yourself that the strength of your character is more than just a side effect of your luck and birthplace. Or maybe it’s because it’s easier to look virtuous when standing alongside someone utterly irresponsible.Are you so sure the person crying out to be saved has not decided a thousand times to accept his lot of pointless and worsening suffering, simply because it is easier than shouldering any true responsibility?”Not everyone needs our help.Sometimes,we ourselves think that someone needs our help but what is our motives behind that help?maybe we don’t genuinely wants to help the other person.What if we ”think” we want to help yet what we are doing is looking at someone’s failures to make us feel a little good about ourselves.What if in helping someone we are pushing forward our own agenda.There was a time in my life that I was so selfrighteous in what I did or what I was that I use to give free advice to people about exercising and all my herbal remedies but what I failed to realize is if someone doesn’t ask for my help why am I being so nice in extending it?I realized that I was so fucking proud of myself and my exercise and fitness journey that I was negating anyone who is not into the kind of exercise that I am in which is working out.There are so many forms of aerobic exercise how can I be so sure that my version of something is the best?Clearly,I was being selfrighteous to the point of being outraged if anyone fails to follow what i prescribed be it in the form of my remedies or anything.What I have realized is when people are ready they will ask your help you don’t need to go all extra about it especially when you think you have it all figured out because clearly you don’t have it all figured out.Life is more complex than that.Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychologist, believed it was impossible to start a therapeutic relationship if the person seeking help did not want to improve” who fail to learn from the past doom themselves to repeat it. It’s partly fate. It’s partly inability. It’s partly…unwillingness to learn? Refusal to learn? Motivated refusal to learn?” Sometimes when we are helping our friends to get out of their difficult times what we fail to realize is they might not necessarily want to get out of it.There’s a popular saying that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink and so is the case with friends if they fail to learn or fail to listen to what we are saying there’s high time we let them go.However,love and care we have for people close to us we cannot solve their problems for them what it would do is make them weak. Loyalty must be negotiated, fairly and honestly. Friendship is a reciprocal arrangement. You are not morally obliged to support someone who is making the world a worse place. Quite the opposite. You should choose people who want things to be better, not worse”
RULE #4 COMPARE YOURSELF TO WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY NOT TO SOMEONE ELSE TODAY 🤩💖💜
No matter how good you are at something, or how you rank your accomplishments, there is someone out there who makes you look incompetent”.Value judgements are a precondition to action.if there was no better and worse, nothing would be worth doing. There would be no value and, therefore, no meaning. Why make an effort if it doesn’t improve anything? Meaning itself requires the difference between better and worse” Do something difficult you might not win at that new challenging task but winning means you are not doing anything new or difficult keep challenging yourself because the challenges that we take in life are ways of finding meaning in our life otherwise life loses all its meaning and everything becomes dull and empty.We need an optimum level of challenge to keep going.Either the resentful person is immature, in which case he or she should shut up, quit whining, and get on with it, or there is tyranny afoot—in which case the person subjugated has a moral obligation to speak up. Why? Because the consequence of remaining silent is worse. Of course, it’s easier in the moment to stay silent and avoid conflict. But in the long term, that’s deadly”
There, things work, and we’re stable, calm and competent. We seldom leave places we understand—geographical or conceptual—for that reason, and we certainly do not like it when we are compelled to”Something unexpected or undesired can always make its appearance, when a plan is being laid out, regardless of how familiar the circumstances. When that happens, the territory has shifted. “As chaos strikes our instinctive fight and flight or freeze response is mobilized.Chaos and Order are not things or objects as things are dead. Perception of objects is first predicated upon seeing the object and inferring it’s purpose and then seeing the object for what it is.like when you see a mug you don’t really see a cylindrical shaped container having a side handle what you perceive is a tool for drinking tea/☕ or coffee like you see the purpose of an object before you even register the shape or size of something.We have a“the hyperactive agency detector” within us in which we see objects having personalities in order to make sense of the chaotic unexplained world around us.Order, the known, appears symbolically associated with masculinity (as illustrated in the aforementioned yang of the Taoist yin-yang symbol). This is perhaps because the primary hierarchical structure of human society is masculine,Order, when pushed too far, when imbalanced, can also manifest itself destructively and terribly. Chaos is feminine partly because all the things we have come to know were born, originally, of the unknown, just as all beings we encounter were born of mothers. Chaos is mater, origin, source, mother; materia, the substance from which all things are made. It is also what matters, or what is the matter—the very subject matter of thought and communication. It is Nature as Woman who says, “Well, bucko, you’re good enough for a friend, but my experience of you so far has not indicated the suitability of your genetic material for continued propagation.”.Elkhonon Goldberg, student of the great Russian neuropsychologist Alexander Luria, has proposed quite lucidly and directly that the very hemispheric structure of the cortex reflects the fundamental division between novelty (the unknown, or chaos) and routinization (the known, order).We experience meaningful engagement when we mediate appropriately between chaos and order.to keep one foot in order and the other in the realm of adventure.”When life suddenly reveals itself as intense, gripping and meaningful; when time passes and you’re so engrossed in what you’re doing you don’t notice—it is there and then that you are located precisely on the border between order and chaos”There’s a pattern if predicable and unpredictable information.”where there is something new to master and some way that you can be improved. That is where meaning is to be found” .How could the nature of man ever reach its full potential without challenge and danger? How dull and contemptible would we become if there was no longer reason to pay attention to?
Be cautious when you’re comparing yourself to others. You’re a singular being, once you’re an adult. You have your own particular, specific problems—financial, intimate, psychological, and otherwise”We must see, but to see, we must aim, so we are always aiming.”We always encounter the world in a state of insufficiency and seek its correction”We ALWAYS should work towards a “goal” an “aim” something to work towards.The disadvantage to all this foresight and creativity is chronic unease and discomfort” How can you start your renovations without being demoralized, even crushed, by your internal critic’s lengthy and painful report of your inadequacies?” I think that’s what we need to accept.In this newage nonsense where you should love yourself no matter what we need to understand that before loving ourselves we need respect more than anything else nobody benefits from just “loving yourself no matter what” “we are special” and all these messages.I think it’s important for us to see what we are really all are inadequacies and our faults and not hide behind” love myself for what I am and all” see what’s really there accept it don’t hide it and if it’s causing you pain in any form if that voice in your head is saying you to stop doing the stupid things that you know you are doing it’s high time we start listening to it start looking at that truth staring right in front of you.Accepting even the negative elements of our personalities is AF difficult but hiding behind ‘i love myself’ is not going to fix anything.We humans are designed to work in order to feel fulfilled you need to do something, engage in something meaningful something that lights the fire in you.The burden of our existence the melancholy and suffering of our life can only be bearable if we are able to find something worth engaging in.”Perhaps happiness is always to be found in the journey uphill, and not in the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak. Ask yourself: is there one thing that exists in disarray in your life or your situation that you could, and would, set straight
Cognitive psychologist Daniel Simons coined the term “sustained inattentional blindness.”. Most of our vision is peripheral and low resolution.You see things that facilitate your movement forward, toward your desired goals. You detect obstacles, when they pop up in your path. You’re blind to everything else” it has to be that way otherwise the world which is so full of information will pull you down.The world is “maya” or illusionin which we are blinded by our desires cannot see what things “truly are”to get what you want”Imagine that you’re unhappy. You’re not getting what you need. Perversely, this may be because of what you want. You are blind, because of what you desire. Perhaps what you really need is right in front of your eyes””life doesn’t have the problem. You do” Your own lack of knowledge is making it difficult for you to understand your own problem so why not try again and harder?perhaps your value structure needs reevaluation.Maybe you are unhappy because you cannot stop liking something that you cannot have.You might ask for a different plan that might lead to fulfillment of your desires.If you stuck you need to let go of that desire and sacrifice that”making your life better means adopting a lot of responsibility, and that takes more effort and care than living stupidly in pain and remaining arrogant, deceitful and resentful””We share the experience of hunger, loneliness, thirst, sexual desire, aggression, fear and pain. Such things are elements of Being—primordial, axiomatic elements of Being. But we must sort and organize these primordial desires, because the world is a complex and obstinately real place” The problem with desires is they can conflict each other when one desire wants precedence over the other so we need to become conscious of our desire,list them and prioritize them”Discipline teaches us to aim properly and also to get what you aim for “You can only find out what you actually believe (rather than what you think you believe) by watching how you act. You simply don’t know what you believe, before that”
DONOT LET YOUR CHILDREN DO ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU DISLIKE THEM 👧👦🧒🧑
“”The belief that children have an intrinsically unsullied spirit, damaged only by culture and society, is derived in no small part from the eighteenth-century Genevan French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau.”he abandoned 5 of his own children to an orphanage.”human beings are evil, as well as good, and the darkness that dwells forever in our souls is also there in no small part in our younger selves”.”Children are damaged when those charged with their care, afraid of any conflict or upset, no longer dare to correct them, and leave them without guidance”Modern parents don’t want to instill discipline in their children,they are paralyzed by fear and what’s the result of all this?unruly pathetic children that don’t want to follow any rules and have zero respect for rules or their elders.””Belief in the purely destructive element of rules and structure is frequently conjoined with the idea that children will make good choices about when to sleep and what to eat, “”Imagine a toddler repeatedly striking his mother in the face. Why would he do such a thing? It’s a stupid question. It’s unacceptably naive. The answer is obvious. To dominate his mother. To see if he can get away with it”“Children hit first because aggression is innate, although more dominant in some individuals and less in others, and, second, because aggression facilitates desire. It’s foolish to assume that such behaviour must be learned.”Consistent correction of such action indicates the limits of acceptable aggression to the child.”Kids do this frequently. Scared parents think that a crying child is always sad or hurt. This is simply not true. Anger is one of the most common reasons for crying”Anger-crying is often an act of dominance, and should be dealt with as such.“When it comes to children’s behavior reward reinforces the behavior that you want them to see.The reward could be as simple as praising them. “fundamental moral question is not how to shelter children completely from misadventure and failure, so they never experience any fear or pain, but how to maximize their learning so that useful knowledge may be gained with minimal cost”
In the Disney movie “sleeping beauty”Aurora” is naive immature and weak” The Aurora’s parents sheltered her for everything all her life as a result she is ”sleeping” which is ”unconcious” ”naive” ”weak” she thinks that the world is only composed of goodness and good people and what happens ?t Maleficent happens which symbolizes the malevolence in this world which naive and overprotected children will face and that will completely weaken them could even result in Post traumatic stress disorder.Parents can sometimes overshelter children in the name of protecting them.Children needs adventure and some level of risk to function in this world. Enough embarrassment, disobedience, and dominance challenge, and even the most hypothetically selfless parent will become resentful. And then the real punishment will begin
SET YOUR HOUSE IN PERFECT ORDER BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE THE WORLD😎🤩🏩
Life is in truth very hard. Everyone is destined for pain and slated for destruction”Look at all these mass killings and suicide bombings people become so disillusioned by this life and its suffering that they want to bring an end to it not just that but as life is not so fair people look at their own lives and the lives of others and can feel an intense anger close to resentment which is justified in the face of the injustice of the world which makes them want to destroy all mankind in the name of ”revenge” but what are they actually revenging against?God?We have our own times when we cried in our prayers saying ”why me??”’ why am I bearing all this agony”what in the name of ”why?” Even someone like Tolstoy got suicidal all by coming to a rational conclusion that life has no meaning hence he should end it.”Mass murderers believe that the suffering attendant upon existence justifies judgment and revenge” Carl Panzram, was raped, brutalized and betrayed in the Minnesota institution responsible for his “rehabilitation” when he was a delinquent juvenile. He emerged, enraged beyond measure,he raped,murdered and blamed just to get his vengeance.Truly terrible things happen to people all the time.
Distress, whether psychic, physical, or intellectual, need not at all produce nihilism (that is, the radical rejection of value, meaning and desirability). Such distress always permits a variety of interpretations” “If it’s God’s fault, however—if reality itself is flawed, hell-bent on ensuring her misery—then one is doomed. We couldn’t change the structure of reality itself. But maybe we could change her own life”A hurricane is an act of God. But failure to prepare, when the necessity for preparation is well known—that’s sin.”Start to stop doing what you know to be wrong. Start stopping today. Don’t waste time questioning how you know that what you’re doing is wrong, if you are certain that it is”“Stop acting in that particular, despicable manner. Stop saying those things that make you weak and ashamed. Say only those things that make you strong”
RULE#7 PURSUE WHAT IS MEANINGFUL
“LIFE IS SUFFERING. THAT’S CLEAR. There is no more basic, irrefutable truth”Pursue pleasure. Follow your impulses. Live for the moment. Do what’s expedient. Lie, cheat, steal, deceive, manipulate—but don’t get caught. In an ultimately meaningless universe, what possible difference could it make? And this is by no means a new idea.” pleasure has been used to justify life’s tragedies it’s short so why not live it “
.”behaving properly now, in the present—regulating our impulses, considering the plight of others—could bring rewards in the future, in a time and place that did not yet exist.”“The act of making a ritual sacrifice to God was an early and sophisticated enactment of the idea of the usefulness of delay”Enrolling at a medical or law school or any other degree or work that you are doing requires discipline and letting go of those short term desires for long term goals and that demands you to sacrifice.”To share does not mean to give away something you value, and get nothing back. Increasing mutual familiarity and trust.”If the world you are seeing is not the world you want, therefore, it’s time to examine your values. It’s time to rid yourself of your current presuppositions. It’s time to let go. It might even be time to sacrifice what you love best, so that you can become who you might become, instead of staying who you are”once you become consciously aware that you, yourself, are vulnerable, you understand the nature of human vulnerability, in general. You understand what it’s like to be fearful, and angry, and resentful, and bitter. You understand what pain means. And once you truly understand such feelings in yourself, and how they’re produced, you understand how to produce them in others“”Freud and Jung paramount among them—insisted that the human psyche was a battleground for ideas. An idea has an aim. It wants something. It posits a value structure. An idea believes that what it is aiming for is better than what it has now”Idea grips a person and makes it to act out.”“Aim up. Pay attention. Fix what you can fix. Don’t be arrogant in your knowledge. Strive for humility, because totalitarian pride manifests itself in intolerance, oppression, torture andBecome aware of your own insufficiency—your cowardice, malevolence, resentment and hatred.Maybe it’s not the world that’s at fault. Maybe it’s you.””I will act in a manner that leads to the alleviation of unnecessary pain and suffering“Meaning emerges when impulses are regulated,organized and unified. MeaningMeaning gratifies all impulses, now and forever. That’s why we can detect it.It’s not bliss. It’s not happiness. It is something more like atonement for the criminal fact of your fractured and damaged Being”you can follow meaning, when it manifests itself, but you cannot simply produce it, as an act of will. Meaning signifies that you are in the right place, at the right time.”
TELL THE TRUTH-AT LEAST,DON’T LIE.
Taking the easy way out or telling the truth—those are not merely two different choices. They are differentpathways through life. They are utterly different ways of existing”You can use words to manipulate the world into delivering what you want. This is what it means to “act politically.”It’s what university students do when they write an essay to please the professor, instead of articulating and clarifying their own ideas”Someone living a life-lie is attempting to manipulate reality with perception, thought and action, so that only some narrowly desired and pre-defined outcome is allowed to exist.”all I know is all that needs to be known. Pride falls in love with its own creations, and tries to make them absolute”oversimplification and falsification is particularly typical of ideologues. They adopt a single axiom: government is bad, immigration is bad, capitalism is bad, patriarchy is bad. Then they filter and screen their experiences and insist ever more narrowly that everything can be explained by that axiom”Consider the person who insists that everything is right in her life. She avoids conflict, and smiles, and does what she is asked to do. She finds a niche and hides in it. She does not question authority or put her own ideas forward, and does not complain when mistreated.”If you say no to your boss, or your spouse, or your mother, when it needs to be said, then you transform yourself into someone who can say no when it needs to be said.If you betray yourself, if you say untrue things, if you act out a lie, you weaken your character. If you have a weak character, then adversity will mow you down when.A vision of the future, the desirable future, is necessary. Such a vision links action taken now with important, long-term, foundational values. It lends actions in the present significance and importance”To accept the truth means to sacrifice—and if you have rejected the truth for a long time, then you’ve run up a dangerously large sacrificial debt. Forestwhat I want didn’t happen that means it is other people’s faults life is faulty miserable let’s work to being it down.What cani do ?deceitful, inauthentic individual existence is the precursor to social totalitarianism”fried said it was repression.Adler lies bred sicknessThis is not because of rationality itself, as a process. That process can produce clarity and progress. It is because rationality is subject to the single worst temptation—to raise what it knows now to the status of an absolute.Iblis The Satan or Lucifer is something like or the personification of rationality.It flies higher and sees more but it falls in love with himself it elevates whatever it produces as absolutes.What saves is the willingness to learn from what you don’t know. “But it is necessary to aim at your target, however traditional, with your eyes wide open. You have a direction, but it might be wrong. You have a plan, but it might be ill-formed. YouThat is faith in the possibility of human transformation. That is faith in the sacrifice of the current self for the self that could be.””Every bit of learning is a little death. Every bit of new information challenges a previous conception, forcing it to dissolve into chaos before it can be reborn as something better.ypi can lose status but not your characterIf you pay attention to what you do and say, you can learn to feel a state of internal division and weakness when you are misbehaving and totalitarian never thinks he might be wrong.If you tell the truth the values will transform along the way.you go to engineering school, because that is what your parents desire—but it is not what you want. Working at cross-purposes to your own wishes, you will find yourself unmotivated, and failing””You may not want to sacrifice your childish belief in parental omniscience, wishing devoutly to continue believing that there is someone who knows you better than you know yourself, and who also knows all about the world. You want to be shielded in this manner from the stark existential aloneness of individual Being and its attendant responsibility”” As a result you develop your own visin why not lie?convince ourselves and others what things are instead of what things actually are.Our culture is deadWe can open our eyes and see how can we modify to fix thingsFirst, a little lie; then, several little lies to prop it up. After that, distorted thinking to avoid the shame that those lies produce, then a few more lies to cover up the consequences of the distorted thinking”
that something bad happened, and you can figure out why, then you can try to avoid that bad thing happening again. That’s the purpose of memory”That’s the purpose of thinking. But we can’t do it alone. We simulate the world, and plan our actions in it. Only human beings do this. That’”Thinking is listening to yourself. It’s difficult. To think, you have to be at least two people at the same time. Then you have to let those people disagree. Thinking is an internal dialogue between two or more different views of the world”it involves conflict.Listening and speaking.Free association.‘Each person can speak up for himself only after he has first restated the ideas and feelings of the previous speakerstraw-manWhen someone opposes you, it is very tempting to oversimplify, parody, or distort his or her position. Thisdenigrate or ridicule the2 use selective evidence3 impress listenersThe person who is speaking in this manner believes that winning the argument makes him right, and that doing so necessarily validates the assumption-structure of the dominance hierarchy he most identifies with.each participant attempting to justify fixed, a prioripositions instead of trying to learn something or to adopt a different frame (even for the novelty).Men are often accused of wanting to “fix things” too early on in a discussion.mutual exploration. It requires true reciprocity on the part of those listening and speaking. everyone is trying to solve a problem living their philosphy you converse, then you listen to the other person, and say the new and original things that can rise from deep within of their own accord
Our evolved perceptual systems transform the interconnected, complex multi-level world that we inhabit not so much into things per se as into useful things (or their nemeses, things thatWe see tools and obstacles, not objects or things.When we look at the world, we perceive only what is enough for our plans and actions to work and for us to get by. What we inhabit, then, is this “enough.”
It is for this reason that we must be precise in our aimWe can literally feel things with the end of the screwdriver” as our screwdriver”The extensible boundaries of our selves also expand to include other people—family members, lovers and friends”We also identify with fictional characters.Sometimee we also identify with groups.Our Country is “us””Our capacity for identification is something that manifests itself at every level of our Being”The boundaries between things are not clear.”Everything is affected by everything else. We perceive a very narrow slice of a causally interconnected matrix, although we strive with all our might to avoid being confronted by knowledge of that narrowness””What we perceive, when things fall apart, is no longer the stage and settings of habitable order. It’s the eternal watery tohu va bohu, formless emptiness,”*Chaos emerges in a household, bit by bit. Mutual unhappiness and resentment pile up. Everything untidy is swept under the rug, where the dragon feasts on the crumbs” life is indistinguishable from effortful maintenance”. Willfull blindness and the bliss of ignorance”Maybe you’ll get hurt. Probably you’ll get hurt. Life, after all, is suffering. But maybe the wound won’t be fatal” You will have conflicts “Because to specify the problem is to allow yourself to know what you want, say, from friend or lover—and then you will know, precisely and cleanly, when you don’t get it, and that will hurt, sharply and specifically”Articulate and state beliefs failed actions inauthentic.”Courageous and truthful words will render your reality simple’Whst is wrong exactly?what do I want exactly?where you are going?random wandering disappoint and frustrate you “Specify your destination, and chart your course. Admit to what you want. Tell those around you who you are.”
Kids need playgrounds dangerous enough to remain challenging. People, including children (who are people too, after all) don’t seek to minimize risk””Thus, if things are made too safe, people (including children) start to figure out ways to make them dangerous again”We feel invigorated and excited when we work to optimize our future performance”Risk Taking “Overprotected, we will fail when something dangerous, unexpected and full of opportunity suddenly makes its appearance, as it inevitably will”Jung believed that every act of social propriety was accompanied by its evil twin, its unconscious shadow”Ressentiment”will for equality vengeance and justice”that the tweed-wearing, armchair-philosophizing, victim-identifying, pity-and-contempt-dispensing social-reformer types frequently did not like the poor, as they claimed. Instead, they just hated the rich”if you cannot understand why someone did something, look at the consequences—and infer the motivation””People motivated to make things better usually aren’t concerned with changing other people—or, if they are, they take responsibility for making the same changes to themselves”human beings were a failed and corrupt species”Messiah eradicates plague.massmurderers“why does it so often seem to be the very people standing so visibly against prejudice who so often appear to feel obligated to denounce humanity itself?”culture is an oppressive structure. It’s always been that way. It’s a fundamental, universal existential reality. The tyrannicalEvery word we speak is a gift from our ancestors. Every thought we think was thought previously by someone smarter.it is the pursuit of goals that in large part lends life its sustaining meaning. We experience almost all the emotions that make life deep and engaging as a consequence of moving successfully towards something”creation of hierarchies of success, while the inevitable consequence is difference in outcome. Absolute equality would therefore require the sacrifice of value itself—and then there would be nothing worth living for. “Many games many games to win.many successful players.Women were often at a disadvantage during that struggle, as they had all the vulnerabilities of men, with the extra reproductive burden, and less physical strength.”In 1847, James Young Simpson used ether to help a woman who had a deformed pelvis give birth. Afterwards, he switched to the better-performing chloroform.oppress women, or free them? What about Gregory Goodwin Pincus, who invented the birth control pill? In whatMax Horkheimer, who developed critical theory in the 1930s.frankfurt school.Jacques Derrida, leader of the postmodernists, who came into vogue in the late 1970s.Six million people died of starvation in the Ukraine, the breadbasket of the Soviet Union, in the 1930s.George Orwell understood what was going on under Stalin, and he made it widely known. He published Animal Farm, a fable satirizing the Soviet Union, in 1945,According to Derrida, hierarchical structures emerged only to include (the beneficiaries of that structure) and to excludeScience only benefits the scientists. Politics only benefits the politicians.Power is not the only primary role.”even to perceive—even a small number of objects, that does not mean that all interpretations are equally valid. Some hurt—yourself and others. Others put you on a collision course with society. Some are not sustainable across time”forced redistribution, in the name of utopian equality, is a cure to shame the collective Activism obligatoryMen rather than nature has oppressed women.Hiachirs are based on exclusion and power.Competence ability skills”No one with brain cancer is equity-minded enough to refuse the service of the surgeon with the best education, the best reputation”science can be biasedThe use of force in postmodernismlet’s equalize all “outcomes”group identity can be fractionated right down to the level of the individual. That sentence should be written in capital letters. Every person is unique”aggression is a learned behaviour?
aggression is merely learned. Aggression is there at the beginning. There are ancient biological circuits, so to speak, that underlie defensive and predatory aggression”Even in decorticate cats they have aggression some 2 year olds are more aggressive than others.Integrate your aggression”Aggression underlies the drive to be outstanding, to be unstoppable, to compete, to win—to be actively virtuous, at least along one dimension. Determination is its admirable, pro-social face”Aggression is necessary for self-protection.Many of the female clients (perhaps even a majority) that I see in my clinical practice have trouble in their jobs and family lives not because they are too aggressive, but because they are not aggressive enough”CBT “Assertiveness Training”They do too much for others.sacrifice for others.”Because too-agreeable people bend over backwards for other people, they do not stand up properly for themselves. Assuming that others think as they do, they expect—instead of ensuring—reciprocity for their thoughtful actions”And they plunge into subjugationor resentment when you are taken adv of.“if they loved me, they would know what to do.” That’s the voice of resentment. Assume ignorance before malevolence. No one has a direct pipeline to your wants and needs—not even you”Agreeable people will go along with whoever makes a suggestion,become indecisive and too easily swayed.The opposite of criminal is not a saint.The oedipal mother takes all the responsibility away from the child and int return they don’t leave consciousness masculine anxiety provoking as it’s linked with vulnerability and compensatory Fantasy
MINIMUM GROUP IDENTIFICATIONsocial psychologist Henri Tajfel.209 Tajfel brought his research subjectsPeople are social because they like the members of their own group. People are antisocial because they don’t like the members of other groups”Cooperation is for safety, security and companionship. Competition is for personal growth and status.”what can be truly loved about a person is inseparable from their limitations” illness diseases “If you are already everything, everywhere, always, there is nowhere to go and nothing to be.”Being of any reasonable sort appears to require limitation’ being and becoming Thinking leads inexorably to the abyss. why live?When existence reveals itself as existentially intolerable, thinking collapses in on itself. In such situations—in the depths—it’s noticing, not thinking, that does the trick”Set aside some time to talk and to think about the illnessand how it should be managedWhen worries associated with the crisis arise at other times, remind yourself that you will think them through, during the scheduled period.The parts of your brain that generate anxiety are more interested in the fact that there is a plan than